Better Than Stephen Metcalf’s Granola

As a regular listener to Slate Magazine’s Culture Gabfest, I’ve had to endure several years of host Stephen Metcalf aggressively opining about the what constitutes a Platonically pure granola. And when I say several years, I don’t mean that the podcast has been running for several years, I mean that if I added up the individual segments of Metcalf’s granola lectures, the time consumed by those alone would constitute years of my life. I’ve probably now spent more time listening to Metcalf whinge on about granola than I have spent in my life addressing envelopes, brushing my teeth, or watching any series of movies without the word Emanuelle in the title. Since Metcalf’s ideal granola can only be made from oats that are harvested by hand in a mythical Scottish village that appears only once every 400 years, this is my bid to put forth an easy to make, genuinely delicious, and endlessly munchable granola. This is me saying Stephen Metcalf, my granola is better than yours. Deal with it and go back to pining for Lena Dunham.

The combination of oats gives this granola a nice, hearty crunch, and the mixture of sweeteners hits all the granola-central flavor spots. The recipe makes enough for two people for two weeks. I usually enjoy it in an artisan-made earthenware bowl with home-grown blackberries and yoghurt made exclusively from cows that have jumped over the moon.

The Recipe

  • 6 cups rolled oats
  • 1 cup steel-cut oats
  • 1/4 cup shredded coconut
  • 2 cups walnut pieces
  • 1 cup pecan halves
  • 1 cup sliced almonds
  • 1/2 cup flax seeds
  • 1/4 cup molasses sugar
  • 1 tbsp kosher salt
  • 1 tsp freshly-grated nutmeg
  • 1 cup raisins
  • 1/2 cup grapeseed oil
  • 1/4 cup honey
  • 1/4 cup maple syrup

Preheat the oven to 250°.

Combine the oats, coconut, nuts, flax seeds, salt, sugar and nutmeg in a very large bowl and mix well.

Mix together the honey, maple syrup, and grapeseed oil and pour over the dry mixture, stirring well.

Pour into a large roasting pan and place in the oven. Bake for 1 hour, 15 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool and stir in the raisins. This will keep for a good long time when sealed in an airtight container.

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